Psychonautics, the Ins and Outs, Part 1, Know your Dealer

I once had conversation with another mushroom dealer, this person had it all, Penis Envy, Golden Teacher, Chitwan, Blue Meanie, Burma, Ecuador, you name it. He also had sheets of acid, different compounds of DMT, all the proverbial “keys to the kingdom” if you will. Dedicating so much time and know how to something that could gain you heavy fines or even an prison sentence had me wondering, why does he do it? Was it because he believed in it’s healing properties? Was it to service the needs of people getting over fear, anxiety, and depression? “No,” he replied, “I do it for the money, plain and simple. now what’s your order?”

Is there anything wrong with that? It’s a simple and albeit crude motivation, but a motivation nonetheless. Wherever there’s a need, there will be an opportunist there to meet it, for a price. People conduct transactions all the time for mutual benefit, I do for you, you do for me, and the whole process can continue and grow. But money isn’t a prime motivator for me. People have asked me why I do it when I have a good job, more at stake, and more to lose over something that doesn’t give you much return on your investment, either in time or money, and is, at the moment, “illegal.” I have many thoughts on this. I look at what psychs have done and continue to do for me, I project on what the state of psychedelics will be in the future as information and clinical trials unfold, I see what marijuana has done to breakdown many of the barriers of red tape and issues concerning legality and legitimacy as it hedges against the pharmaceutical industry, and what it boils down to is this, I believe in psychedelics, even more so than what I do for a living, which is in and of itself a service to mankind. I’m a prosumer, which is both parts producer and consumer. Not simply someone who seeks to gain from simple supply and demand economics, but somebody that is also a practitioner of the very thing he promotes. I believe in the demystification of these substances as they’ve been characterized with certain social stigmas and misconceptions under popular belief. I’m a proponent of legalization and their multifaceted use cases for both recreational and medicinal purposes. In short, since there have been people they have consumed psychedelics for thousands of years. There has been a hidden hand that psychedelics have had in shaping society as we know it, and they’ve only been “illegal” for some 50 years, it’s about time that that’s been revisited.

I’m sure there are other thought leaders and common people that also think this way, in fact I’ve met a few, have had conversations as to what psychedelics do for them. For some it’s simply a good time, something silly and innocuous and nothing more, for others it’s something else. I count myself as a part of both parties but mostly the latter. I see a tide turning and a cultural shift happening that leads me to believe that a more “enlightened” society is on the horizon, but this carries with it a double edged paradox.

In this microwave generation where instant gratification trumps all, I see legalization as having unintended consequences. Just as most solutions carry with them more problems, or most answers carry more questions, legalization may bring about another set of misconceptions on what psychedelics do and what kind of expectations one would have in taking them. Taking psychedelics is not the end all be all solution to any set of problems, rather more a useful aid in the continual progression of stabilizing or advancing a person’s mental well being. And In this age of misinformation coupled with industrial standardizations, why would the psychedelics industry be any different from any other? This is all sheer speculation and conjecture, but I can see a hype wave building itself up around psychs culminating in advertisements seeking ad revenue across the internet landscape, packaging all these false claims of vision and enlightenment at just the drop of a dose, which is an absurd claim. You shouldn’t have any expectations when it comes to taking psychedelics, and in that mindset where one does not seek to gain anything, is where a whole other world you weren’t expecting opens up to you; expect nothing, receive everything. Things in the age of modern convenience (especially in the first world) where nothing is really lacking or scarce, has made living too easy for people and has clouded our expectations of how things are versus how things should be. It takes work, continual, habitual, disciplined, and dedicated work to reach any sort of state of “enlightenment” and psychs are a small item on the list one should think about adding to their regiment (I also supplement, exercise, meditate, watch what I eat, journal, etc. as part of my own personal mental checklist). Even at the point where you reach that threshold of profound realization of ones meaning and purpose, it is not a state you can stay in all the time, life takes hold and there are so many other things to do. You can’t expect that just because you have a trip or two (or even a hundred) that you suddenly “get it,” you don’t. It’s moreover just a place you can visit every now and again that offers you a mere glimpse into your psyche, open to you 24 hours a day, but you cannot stay there.

This is the point where I’m a bit split, on the one hand dealing with your typical beach bum burnout hippie mushroom dealer is an ordeal in itself. That’s not to say that’s how it is everywhere because I’ve also met some other very professional type dealers too, but in my experience, the pain in the ass of having to locate and score off some unreliable and inconsistent space cadet is one of the primary reasons for legalization. As a buyer I’ve had many a deal go sideways, someone not showing up or trying to sell me less than what we agreed upon, it can be frustrating to say the least. At least with some regulation you can have a consistent product that’s dosed, measured and centralized to suit ones needs so you know exactly what you’re getting without all the back and forth set of concerns from some back alley deal. But on the other hand, that’s sort of part of the process.

If i’m honest, part of the appeal to me personally why I like the state of psychedelics right now is precisely that it IS illegal. I actually do like that there is some danger associated with it. Not everything should be made easy or safe, life itself is a risk and knowing how to deal with potentially dangerous situations is a skill that’s dulled down amongst the population as we try and make society more culturally homogenized. It reminds me of how difficult it once was just scoring weed back in the day. It was all very hush hush and ran in small circles. You had to know a guy who knew a guy, you had to go to a place, somewhere you never been, visit with people you would have never otherwise met, you had to set out on some type of mini adventure just to score, and it made it all the more special for you and your buddies once you did. Now all you have to do is run through the drive through so to speak like some cheap fast food or have it delivered to your door step, and that’s that. How special is that? It takes a whole step out of the process, and one could argue an important step, because it takes the interpersonal nature out of it, the friends you make, the people you meet, the experiences you have. Now buying weed is so impersonal; hello, goodbye, you’re in, you’re out, move on, next. That’s not the type of environment I think psychedelics ought to have once they become legal. It’s not to say that I don’t think things shouldn’t change or improve, but psychedelics are deeply human substances and it needs to continue to have that humanizing touch to it, and never become impersonal (I could never see a guided ayahuasca ceremony for example ever being anything other than what they are, and that’s the way they should be).

So in the face of all that, do I still think it is worth it for me to delve into the world of psychedelics, their production and distribution? Yes, of course. I think things like this and people like me will be heavily scrutinized now and in the future as either the basis for continual outlaw, or partway grounds for legalization, it’s all dependent upon the lens of the viewer. I’m not doing near as much as say a Paul Stamets, a Dennis Mckenna, or a Graham Hancock, but my part is a role nonetheless in that broad world, even if it’s street level. Whether or not these things come to pass, whether things stay the same, open up, or be driven more underground, I’ll continue down this pathway wherever it lead. There has always been and will always be others like me as well, and they’re already in your neighborhood. As Joseph Campbell expanded upon Carl Jung’s notion of the archetypes into the mythologies in “The Hero of a Thousand Faces,” the “magician,” “medicine man,” “shaman,” “healer,” or even the modern doctor/pharmacist has existed in virtually every culture across any time in human history, and in that way I see myself as part of that lineage, just a modern 2020 version of. In your own time you will meet people like the opportunist I met at the beginning of this essay looking not for your benefit, but for his, capitalizing off of your plight, but that won’t be me. I’m interested not in capital gain, or in recognition, or anything more than to help others as I have helped myself. I believe I’ve reached that point where I’m more interested in what they can do for us collectively than what they’ve done for me personally. That’s just who I am. Now what’s your order?